We have had a few people ask about us moving so we thought we would share a little bit about our plans. We are moving back to Austin bright and early tomorrow morning. Although we are excited to be back among different family and friends, our hearts are aching to leave a city and place that has felt more like home then anywhere we have ever lived. If you've been to Houston, you may think we are crazy for loving it the way we do. Crazy, does seem to fit us, but we also believe that God has given us a heart for this city. It's a place that eventually we would like to make home again.
The easiest way we can explain our decision is this:
Jackson's journey as our nurse always says is a marathon. He will always be monitored and followed closely for his life. Eventually when his pacemaker is implanted he will have it his entire life with battery replacement and lead surgeries as needed. His surgeries required are complicated, in fact his Double Switch (2nd surgery needed) is one of the most complex heart surgeries to do. This is partly why the decision to operate on him has been so weighted. The decision process has been whether to put him at such risk as a child or to with go that route and hope he makes it as far into life as possible with as littler intervention until possibly a heart transplant as an adult.
This explains a little bit of why we are often so torn and so emotional after appointments as we are left with this lingering choice. Where we stand now is continuing to discuss and watch for the remainder of the year, still leaving all of our care here in Houston. An MRI will be scheduled for January 2014 and more than likely we will begin with his first surgery and pacemaker following that. If all goes well, his Double Switch will be about 6 months after.
We have been sprinting this journey not treating it like a marathon. We have been signing short term leases, moving our stuff around, shifting Chris' job, and even mentally handling everything in small short chunks. We now stand at a point where we are a little burnt out and we realize what a long way we have to go. It's our plan to move back to Austin to have the support we need to collapse a bit, retrain some habits, grow closer together, and allow the Lord to work through the areas we are most hurting.
With such heavy hearts we say goodbye for now to our tiny apartment just down the street from our hospital and move back to a place where we know God has given us so many tools to prepare our hearts for whatever lies ahead. Broken hearted is sometimes the hardest place to be and yet it's the best place to be humbled and shaped into the person God has called me to be. My heart aches for what seems to linger ahead but I know with confidence that as the time comes to finalize the decision for his life, we will stand with peace. Not without tears, but with unimaginable peace that God who created Jackson's very special heart still holds each of ours.