June 9, 2011 (Day 21) Get your gloves on, let’s go God!

 Get your fighting gloves on, it’s go time…. We’re back in business! I have had my share of some off days where it seemed as if nothing would go right and I felt so incredibly lonely and afraid. I entered into my angry phase and cried out to God that He would hold me close. He answered me, carried me, and gave me strength to keep going.

Yesterday I felt completely overwhelmed with some clerical errors dealing with our house and the growing list of things on my list. Oh how I wish I could go back to the days where laundry was the worst thing on my list! I had an appointment to go in and give a blood sample and I was terrified. The tests are looking for certain antibodies in my blood that could have contributed to the congenital heart block that Jackson has or if the heart block is caused by his other fatal heart conditions (most likely). I kept thinking, “what if this test comes back positive?” This would mean that not only would I have a certain genetic condition, but it’s possible it could have been carried to Ava. The chances of this are extremely rare, but you have to wonder after everything that we are going through.  But, I did it! I got through the appointment without tears and called my mom in for backup for today. I knew that there were so many phone calls and so much to do that I would need the extra help. So while I am here calling, scheduling, and researching Ava is floating around the pool with her Grandma having the time of her life! Thank you Lord for family!

I received a call from the Texas Children’s Hospital  (ranked #4 in The US for Pediatric Cardiac surgery) this morning after our Perinatal specialist put in a referral for us and they found an opening next Friday, June 17^th at 9am for a full scan, consultation, and tour of the facility. I was floored by the fact that we could get in so quickly with such a top notch specialist. It was a huge sense of relief after sitting here the last couple of weeks wondering what comes next. We had already decided that Houston was the next step, but there are so many details that go along with beginning the transition of care to a city away from home.

After I got off the phone, I was re-energized. I powered through paying bills, scheduling other appointments, and connected with my new OB. I laid down for about an hour and had one of my best naps since we found out. Sleep is something we haven’t been doing well around our house for the past several weeks and it’s beginning to show. I woke up with a renewed sense of strength and a fighting spirit. Literally my first waking thought was, “Ok, God, let’s get it done. You & me, it’s go time!”

My fighting spirit as a mother is back and I’m ready. After all, I still feel a mighty strong boy inside of me who is putting up the fight every day. Each day his heart is functioning at half the normal speed and circulating blood without oxygen through his body. With each new kick (and they are getting stronger) I am reminded that there is no time to wait, to linger, to question why, or to give up. Our doctors only know science, but we know a mighty God!!!

Watch out Houston, here we come! Fighting gloves ready, a sovereign God, and a whole team of people storming the gates of heaven for one little boy’s special heart!