Over the period of time that we have known about Jackson’s condition (53 days to be exact) we have been desperately crying out to the Lord. With each new step forward and new information that we receive we have become more and more confused about how to pray for him. When our pastor told us that he was starting a new study on prayer it was a complete answer to pray for us. We have spent the last two Sundays focusing on prayer and how to listen to God. Each week I am so encouraged as the Lord is growing my weak prayer life into a far more passionate one. What I have learned in the last while about prayer has been so crucial in my ability to pray for my son in a new and powerful way. It’s not about new vocabulary or a new position to sit in while I pray, it’s all about faith.
We learn from Elijah’s example of prayer for rain to cease that his prayer was:
Up until now we have been afraid to be specific in our prayers because we didn’t want to set our eyes on one thing and be unsatisfied if God chose to do it any other way. I was afraid to ask for a miraculous healing in case God’s will was different, but I realized there are specific things that I need to come before heaven’s gates and plead for. So we covet your prayers as we travel to Houston today for a marathon of appointments tomorrow at Texas Children’s Hospital.
These are the things that the Lord has put on our hearts to specifically pray for:
1) We want to see a 1:1 ratio of his upper and lower chamber heartbeats (right now his ventricular rate is functioning at half the speed making his heart rate at about 70 beats per minute where a normal baby is anywhere between 120-160 beats per minute.)
2) We want decreased hypertrophy in his right ventricle ( his muscle build up has increased due to not being able to pump out blood fast enough)
3) We want fully healthy & functioning valves- no leaky valves
4) We want a corrected blood path when he is born (the doctors are not certain how his blood flow will go when his heart begins to function on its own- that first cry.)
Jackson, it’s hard to find words for you today other than that I love you. I love you enough to be stretched in ways I didn’t think were possible. I love you enough to push aside the distractions of my life and fall to my knees and plead for your life everyday for as long as it takes. I will be persistent, I will be passionate, I will be specific, and I will expect great and wonderful things for your life. I believe that God wants to use you in ways that I cannot comprehend. May you always look at your life and see value for you are loved beyond your wildest imaginations. Loved by family, friends, neighbors, strangers reading your blog, and most of all by your perfect creator. We stand in faith that God will use you and your special heart to testify to the greatest love the world has ever seen. That by your life others may see that Jesus saves and He heals the broken. That He fixes what no one else can and that brings new life to things that people declare worthless. You my boy are a gift, one so preciously dear to my heart that the sound of your name brings tears to my eyes. We love you and are on our knees for you…. We will ask, we will seek, and we will follow, whatever the cost because you are worth every second of it! Tomorrow it is....