May 21, 2011 (Day 2) Perfectly Designed & Unique

I rose from bed this morning before my alarm; too many thoughts racing through my head to sleep. I’ve always said that my most powerful time with the Lord is during thunderstorms. Some people fear them or hate them, but I sit and wait for them to hit. For Chris nothing compares to being in the ocean. He’ll get all suited up in the thickest of wetsuits and embrace the freezing temperatures of the Oregon coast to catch even a single wave. The power and vastness of the ocean and the littleness that he feels in comparison as he sits on his board waiting for a new set to come in has always allowed him to feel the power of God.

 For me, thunderstorms just scream of a creator; a God who spoke the world into existence, who carefully planned each part of the universe. I love that Austin has thunderstorms, although we’ve only had a couple since we’ve lived here this last year. Weather forecasts were calling for a chance of thunderstorms last night. The sky became dark, nighttime drew near and then it happened. One of the most beautiful displays of lightning I’ve seen flashed across the sky. It continued for several hours with occasional rolls of loud thunder. Every little bit I would step out onto our driveway and glance up at the sky.

 The same powerful God who created the heavens and the earth cares enough for me to hold me gently in His arms to comfort me. The same God who shows Himself powerful and mighty through displays of bolts of lightning loves me and has chosen me to climb this uphill battle.

 The words kept going through my head, “it must have been just a problem with the blueprint of your baby.” These were the words of a doctor trying to reassure me that it was nothing that I did, but a one in a million chance that his heart was never created correctly from the very beginning. As I watched the storm I felt Gods arms wrap around me. Jackson was created the very way that God had planned. You cannot argue that the God who spoke the world into existence overlooked the detail of my baby’s heart.

 Yes, his heart is defective. He is not a perfect baby, but he is exactly what God planned him to be right now. Why?? Oh, how I wish I knew. How I wish I knew that the outcome would be some amazing story of healing and miraculous events. The fact is that I don’t know if this journey will end today, tomorrow, or many years from now. What I do know is this. God loves Jackson more than I ever could. He created him unlike anyone else. He gave him a special heart that for no scientific reason continues to beat even when it shouldn’t. God has a unique plan for him, one that I know I wouldn’t have chosen, but one that is far greater than I could have ever thought of myself.

 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”     Psalm 139:13-16

Jackson, you were made just the way you were meant to be. Our little miracle baby that regardless the number of your days are showing us already just how special God created you to be. Keep kicking away!