It's only Wednesday, but this week has had its fair share of ups and downs already. Monday started with two different appointments that went horribly wrong. Since my doctor is out of town this week I was set to follow up with a doctor who actually had an emergency as well, so I was placed with another doctor that was not up on all the information. I made it through the appointment and then waited for the next ultrasound. I grabbed a tissue and walked out into the hallway and collapsed into an emotional breakdown. I cried, went in for an ultrasound that was extremely confusing as well, and then I cried some more.
Tuesday brought a better day with a great appointment as always with Dr. Ayers as we did another echocardiogram (heart scan). She is so incredibly smart but so personable that she puts you at ease even when every part of your body is stressed. Jackson's heart is stabalized and is still maintaing its normal slow beat with his heart block. She spent time talking with us about all the different things to expect with his heart and started reassuring me that everyone was on board for giving him the best care possible. I just love the time we spend with her. I find myself oddly looking forward to our appointments with her even though I truly wish Jackson's heart was functioning normal. She has been and always will be an answer to prayer for us!
Wednesday kicked off with Ava heading back to Austin with my mom to spend a few days with Chris. It was hard to say goodbye to her, but I know she will enjoy her time back in her "normal life" for a few days. I was doing pretty good and then came a few very stressful phone calls that set me back emotionally and I just sat and cried. It just seems like even the things I try to plan and control seem to become the unknown and amongst everything going on, it makes me feel so completley helpless.
My phone rang and I almost hesitated to answer it. I picked it up and it was Carmen our nursing coordinator. She spent time talking to me about my appointments this week, what to expect next week, and everything after that. She was understanding, compassionate, informative, and so helpful. She just took time to calm my nerves, answer any questions I had, and reassure me that everyone is very informed on our situation. It was the best part of my day talking with her! I hung up the phone and I felt a rush of confidence come over me and found renewed strength to keep going. It is my prayer that anyone who ever has to travel the road of medical turmoil has a Carmen to walk along with them. Someone who has answers, who is willing to go the extra mile, and who becomes a friend in the process.
So to Carmen, someday if you ever read this, just know that the work you do has a much bigger impact than you know. That your phone calls, your appointment setting, your tours, and your job decription is helping famlies all over the place find a new wind to keep going when all else gets unbearable. That amongst the stress and the unknowns, your voice becomes the calming of the storms. You are wonderfully gifted at what you do and appreciated more than you will even know! We are so thankful for you!