We got settled in to Houston last night and headed to bed early for our appointments today. We kicked off the morning with an ultrasound in which they found everything to be stabalized still with his heart. His heart rate is at 67 beats per minute which has been his norm for the past 3 months. They performed a movement test on him as well to make sure that he is doing well and he passed with flying colors. In just a week and half he has gained another pound leaving him at about 5 lbs 14 ounces today. I laughed nervously as they talked about how good that was. I couldn't be happier that he is growing stronger and bigger everyday, but I will admit that the anxiety is growing a little bit everytime someone tells me he is going to be big... ok God, I still have to push him out!
Then we waited for our next appintment with Dr. Ivey my OB. We talked through how I have been doing and I expressed a little concern over some contractions I had expereinced over the weekend. He suggested we just check to see if anything happened as a result and then the storm blew in. He checked and sure enough those contractions had been very real. I am 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and he is positioned low and ready for delivery. He calmly talked over everything with me and ordered me to rest for the next two weeks hoping that we can get him to term (37 weeks). He told me to relax, don't push it, and spend my days resting as much as possible. I wanted to be like, "Rest, what's that?"
I am living in a different city from my husband with a 3 year old and 35 weeks pregnant with a baby that has odds out on his life. Relax? How do I do that? Jackson needs everyday he can get in the womb growing stronger to face whatever is needed after delivery. I kept thinking, "Lord, he can't come now." We left the hospital and I had a few contractions on the way home. So, here I am on the couch trying to rest but thinking of all the things that are going on. My mind racing, trying to hold back the tears.
Jesus, you have every day of Jackson's life in your hands. Before delivery, when he takes his first breath, and when he fights for his life. Make him strong, make him able, and prepare his body for what is needed. I trust you in your plans and I sureender my own ideas of what timing I think is right and wrong. Where science says impossible, I say "You don't know my God." Give us strength Lord to handle whatever is ahead. Your faithfulness is just as true today as it was yesterday. If he comes early may it be even more so a testimony of how great you are!